I have a girlfriend visiting from out of town and she has been hounding me to get together to have dinner with her. I thought I satiated her need to see me by hanging at the beach, but that wasn't enough apparently. Hehehe.
So, reluctantly, and on the heels of my stupid stall, I will break my fast tomorrow.
I'm going to break it with juice (and maybe a papaya!) in the morning, and I'll try to stick with a simple salad for dinner, but the thought of some salmon is kind of tempting. That may be too much! I didn't have any adverse effects coming off my last fast, so I may be fairly ok.
I think I'll just stay off my fast for a few days, or maybe just one day, and hop back on. Heck, it may even break me out of the stall.
So, I'm preparing for the worst and hoping for the best.
I think it's really difficult to get through a 30 day fast if you aren't hidden away from the world at some retreat, because there is the constant pressure to eat. 2 week fasts seem to be all I can manage right now, and any way I look at it, it's still better than nothing.
To think, had I not discovered fasting, I would be sitting her at 206 lbs right now, thinking of ordering a burger and lots of beer tomorrow, instead of 186 lbs, thinking of the lightest, healthiest thing I can get off the menu :) Change is change.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Day 10
186 again today. Now I'm annoyed. This is seriously bugging me. I had better see that damn scale move tomorrow. 3 days at 186 is not cool.
I had 2 mugs of tea last night, one with honey and one with sugar. I put it into fitday to see the calories and it was only about 113 or so, so I don't see why that would be a problem. I was also drinking a lot of water last night, thinking I was retaining water.
This makes it harder to want to keep that willpower. Add to that my BF is coming over to grill a steak for dinner, I'll have someone eating in front of me for the first time during this fast.
Oh well, I'm going to keep at it....
I had 2 mugs of tea last night, one with honey and one with sugar. I put it into fitday to see the calories and it was only about 113 or so, so I don't see why that would be a problem. I was also drinking a lot of water last night, thinking I was retaining water.
This makes it harder to want to keep that willpower. Add to that my BF is coming over to grill a steak for dinner, I'll have someone eating in front of me for the first time during this fast.
Oh well, I'm going to keep at it....
Day 9
No change in weight today. Perhaps because I started my period? I'm trying not to be disappointed, but deep down I am. I have to keep reminding myself that I've lost 10 lbs in a little over a week, a feat most mainstream diets could never achieve, and that I'm ahead of the game.
Hopefully I will see a large drop tomorrow or the day after, but I suppose my female body is retaining water and working against me for now.
I'm also starting to get pouty about food. I'd really like some salmon. YUM. And broccoli and brown rice. I keep telling myself not to break my fast yet, it's not worth it, as I'll probably gain and only have a net loss of around 5 lbs or so. That's not worth it IMHO.
So I will keep truckin on, hoping for the best.
At least I've been feeling just great. Nice and energetic.
Hopefully I will see a large drop tomorrow or the day after, but I suppose my female body is retaining water and working against me for now.
I'm also starting to get pouty about food. I'd really like some salmon. YUM. And broccoli and brown rice. I keep telling myself not to break my fast yet, it's not worth it, as I'll probably gain and only have a net loss of around 5 lbs or so. That's not worth it IMHO.
So I will keep truckin on, hoping for the best.
At least I've been feeling just great. Nice and energetic.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
More Thoughts
I know I've said this before, but it begs repeating.
I'm so surprised and kind of disgusted that people think that a life-threatening surgery (bariatric surgery) is more acceptable than fasting.
It disturbs me that someone would think that allowing a doctor to cut your stomach into a little pouch and rearrange your innards is somehow safer than fasting, and that it's necessary for so many morbidly obese people.
I have a sick fascination with those morbidly obese documentary shows on Discovery and TLC and stuff. It first fascinates me that someone gets that fat. To which my BF always mentions how fat I am, and how I let myself get as fat as I did (206). He's right, to a degree. I suppose it's just a matter of denial to creep up to 300 and beyond. I managed to go from 147 to 172 in a few months, and I was in pure denial. I did it eating junk food. Lots of fast food. And eating as much as my 6'1" athletic boyfriend did. I admit, it was stupid and I was blind. It got to the point where I was so scared to get on the scale to see the gain, that I'd just avoid it. And then the scale was banished to the closet. Once and a while it would come out, I would attempt to lose weight, nothing would happen, and the scale was once again banished.
So I can see how one can just fall into a despair and denial, and just gain and gain.
It makes me sad that 1) no one ever explained fasting to these people as an option, and 2) that if they were to ever consider fasting on their own, people would scoff and tell them how crazy they are. It makes me sad that the weight loss rates for fasting and the first month of bariatric surgery are the same (approx 1 lb a day). It makes me sad that they have had their stomachs reduced to the size of an egg, and must forever eat that way.
I haven't lost enough weight to see yet, but there are claims on some fasting sites that even though the weight is rapidly lost, because the body is doing it naturally and consuming it's excess reserves that I won't lose skin elasticity or tone and end up with droopy bags of skin. Unfortunately that's not so for someone who has bariatric surgery.
With fasting, I can get the results of someone who had a major, dangerous, and expensive surgery. And it's FREE! Hehehe. I don't have to take supplements for the rest of my life because my stomach is no longer intact and unable to absorb nutrients as efficiently.
Fasting changes the foods that I crave. While sure, that commercial for Jack in the Box's meal looked pretty good, what I really want to eat are fruits, veggies, whole grains, fish, chicken, and other delicious and nutritious foods. I don't want sodas, ice cream, cake, donuts, etc. I'm sure I'll indulge when I want to, but my mindset and cravings are on a different track, and it was absolutely painless to change my eating desires. I had no thought about it, it just was. For someone who had GB, they still want the same foods they indulged in, they have to learn to like the new, healthier diet they're supposed to be eating, but it will be harder for them to break the junk food habit.
I just really wish these people who are in pain and suffering with their immense weight had someone to turn to, somewhere to go to have someone there to offer an alternative to the drastic means. I think fasting is a valid and successful way to change their lives, and far safer than surgery.
My cousin had GB. And I'll be honest with you here. I don't respect that. While I understand what a big decision it is to have the surgery and all the life changes that come with it. I still can't find respect for someone who couldn't do it "on their own". To have someone cut out your stomach because you can't make a change in your life seems like a cop-out. It's like cutting off your nose to spite your face. It's not your stomach's fault you are fat. It's all in your mind. That's what you need to change.
I'm so surprised and kind of disgusted that people think that a life-threatening surgery (bariatric surgery) is more acceptable than fasting.
It disturbs me that someone would think that allowing a doctor to cut your stomach into a little pouch and rearrange your innards is somehow safer than fasting, and that it's necessary for so many morbidly obese people.
I have a sick fascination with those morbidly obese documentary shows on Discovery and TLC and stuff. It first fascinates me that someone gets that fat. To which my BF always mentions how fat I am, and how I let myself get as fat as I did (206). He's right, to a degree. I suppose it's just a matter of denial to creep up to 300 and beyond. I managed to go from 147 to 172 in a few months, and I was in pure denial. I did it eating junk food. Lots of fast food. And eating as much as my 6'1" athletic boyfriend did. I admit, it was stupid and I was blind. It got to the point where I was so scared to get on the scale to see the gain, that I'd just avoid it. And then the scale was banished to the closet. Once and a while it would come out, I would attempt to lose weight, nothing would happen, and the scale was once again banished.
So I can see how one can just fall into a despair and denial, and just gain and gain.
It makes me sad that 1) no one ever explained fasting to these people as an option, and 2) that if they were to ever consider fasting on their own, people would scoff and tell them how crazy they are. It makes me sad that the weight loss rates for fasting and the first month of bariatric surgery are the same (approx 1 lb a day). It makes me sad that they have had their stomachs reduced to the size of an egg, and must forever eat that way.
I haven't lost enough weight to see yet, but there are claims on some fasting sites that even though the weight is rapidly lost, because the body is doing it naturally and consuming it's excess reserves that I won't lose skin elasticity or tone and end up with droopy bags of skin. Unfortunately that's not so for someone who has bariatric surgery.
With fasting, I can get the results of someone who had a major, dangerous, and expensive surgery. And it's FREE! Hehehe. I don't have to take supplements for the rest of my life because my stomach is no longer intact and unable to absorb nutrients as efficiently.
Fasting changes the foods that I crave. While sure, that commercial for Jack in the Box's meal looked pretty good, what I really want to eat are fruits, veggies, whole grains, fish, chicken, and other delicious and nutritious foods. I don't want sodas, ice cream, cake, donuts, etc. I'm sure I'll indulge when I want to, but my mindset and cravings are on a different track, and it was absolutely painless to change my eating desires. I had no thought about it, it just was. For someone who had GB, they still want the same foods they indulged in, they have to learn to like the new, healthier diet they're supposed to be eating, but it will be harder for them to break the junk food habit.
I just really wish these people who are in pain and suffering with their immense weight had someone to turn to, somewhere to go to have someone there to offer an alternative to the drastic means. I think fasting is a valid and successful way to change their lives, and far safer than surgery.
My cousin had GB. And I'll be honest with you here. I don't respect that. While I understand what a big decision it is to have the surgery and all the life changes that come with it. I still can't find respect for someone who couldn't do it "on their own". To have someone cut out your stomach because you can't make a change in your life seems like a cop-out. It's like cutting off your nose to spite your face. It's not your stomach's fault you are fat. It's all in your mind. That's what you need to change.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Day 8
186.8 lbs this morning.
If I continue to lose at 1-2 lbs a day, which I'm not sure how long this will last), I will be in the 170s by next week. *happy dance*
I find myself no more hungry then I ever was, but my mind is really quick to start thinking of breaking the fast. I have to snap myself out of it and remind myself that I'm not hungry, I just miss food. That tides me over for a while. It's a simple enough "craving" to break with a simple thought said to myself, so I don't find it to be very strong.
Going to the beach today with a friend. My retro bathing suit looks even cuter (I didn't think that was possible!) now that I'm 10 lbs lighter. The rouching in the front is even more rouchier! :) I've been putting off seeing her because she and I tend to have meals then get sloppy drunk. This way we'll be stranded at the beach with whatever snacks she brings, hopefully it'll be something I don't like or I can explain that I'm on an IF and today is a fast day. I just know she's not the type who would understand or accept it.
Someone on a forum I belong to and have recently posted a bit about my fasting has messaged me with interest. I shared a bunch of links with her to get going on the research. Hopefully she gives this or something similar a shot and is as happy as I am with the results and effects on both mind and body. I've stopped posting about the fast there because after a few days I started to get the people concerned about my health, the ones who have a knee-jerk reaction to "not eating", much as I did, and most people do, when they don't put in the research. It's ok, it's to be expected. I know they were only worried for my well-being.
If I continue to lose at 1-2 lbs a day, which I'm not sure how long this will last), I will be in the 170s by next week. *happy dance*
I find myself no more hungry then I ever was, but my mind is really quick to start thinking of breaking the fast. I have to snap myself out of it and remind myself that I'm not hungry, I just miss food. That tides me over for a while. It's a simple enough "craving" to break with a simple thought said to myself, so I don't find it to be very strong.
Going to the beach today with a friend. My retro bathing suit looks even cuter (I didn't think that was possible!) now that I'm 10 lbs lighter. The rouching in the front is even more rouchier! :) I've been putting off seeing her because she and I tend to have meals then get sloppy drunk. This way we'll be stranded at the beach with whatever snacks she brings, hopefully it'll be something I don't like or I can explain that I'm on an IF and today is a fast day. I just know she's not the type who would understand or accept it.
Someone on a forum I belong to and have recently posted a bit about my fasting has messaged me with interest. I shared a bunch of links with her to get going on the research. Hopefully she gives this or something similar a shot and is as happy as I am with the results and effects on both mind and body. I've stopped posting about the fast there because after a few days I started to get the people concerned about my health, the ones who have a knee-jerk reaction to "not eating", much as I did, and most people do, when they don't put in the research. It's ok, it's to be expected. I know they were only worried for my well-being.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Day 7
My goodness! I forgot to post today :)
187.8 lbs this morning. I had a few spoonfuls of honey last night to combat the intense light-headedness I was having.
Today I feel fit as a fiddle! Absolutely no weakness or light headedness at all.
I also played in my closet, trying on a bunch of outfits and dresses. I was so excited I fit into a slinky red satin dress I bought for a friend's wedding back in March but was too small to even zip halfway. Well, today, with no shapwear I got it all zipped up and looked pretty damn good! It's a good thing I couldn't wear it, or I might have upstaged the bride. I do need to wear my spanx to help with some rolls and lumps, but the thing fits!
Days like these are what makes it super easy to trek on. I got a couple grumbles when I was in the shower, but some water put an end to that. Though now the grumbles at night are starting to get me thinking of quitting early. I think I'm just starting to miss food.
What's funny is I was planning a picnic menu for my BF's birthday in August that consisted of fried chicken, potato salad, and some fruit bars (I think I mentioned this in my last post) but none of those got me hungry. It's when I think of broccoli and brown rice, salads, and tofu that I get all hungry! Hehehe.
Still super funky breath and tongue. Yuck. It means I have a ways to go for detox.
I just wish people would understand before they make assumptions. I have been avoiding meeting up with a friend who's visiting because where do friend's hang out? Restaurants. Bars. I finally worked out to meet up with her at the beach tomorrow. I should be able to avoid eating without getting suspicious. It's nice that my BF has come to terms with the fasting now and keeps remembering when he suggests a restaurant or something that "Oh, you're not eating though". It's sweet.
187.8 lbs this morning. I had a few spoonfuls of honey last night to combat the intense light-headedness I was having.
Today I feel fit as a fiddle! Absolutely no weakness or light headedness at all.
I also played in my closet, trying on a bunch of outfits and dresses. I was so excited I fit into a slinky red satin dress I bought for a friend's wedding back in March but was too small to even zip halfway. Well, today, with no shapwear I got it all zipped up and looked pretty damn good! It's a good thing I couldn't wear it, or I might have upstaged the bride. I do need to wear my spanx to help with some rolls and lumps, but the thing fits!
Days like these are what makes it super easy to trek on. I got a couple grumbles when I was in the shower, but some water put an end to that. Though now the grumbles at night are starting to get me thinking of quitting early. I think I'm just starting to miss food.
What's funny is I was planning a picnic menu for my BF's birthday in August that consisted of fried chicken, potato salad, and some fruit bars (I think I mentioned this in my last post) but none of those got me hungry. It's when I think of broccoli and brown rice, salads, and tofu that I get all hungry! Hehehe.
Still super funky breath and tongue. Yuck. It means I have a ways to go for detox.
I just wish people would understand before they make assumptions. I have been avoiding meeting up with a friend who's visiting because where do friend's hang out? Restaurants. Bars. I finally worked out to meet up with her at the beach tomorrow. I should be able to avoid eating without getting suspicious. It's nice that my BF has come to terms with the fasting now and keeps remembering when he suggests a restaurant or something that "Oh, you're not eating though". It's sweet.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Day 6
188.8 lbs this morning. I found that humorous :)
Last night I had a couple of rumbles in my tummy, and I was once again imagining pan-frying up some delicious tofu!! How weird.
Insomnia has not gone away. It takes me ages to fall asleep, only to wake about 2 hours later, again fall asleep, wake 2 hours later, etc. It's rather exhausting. I was really hoping I would have my fantastic sleep from my last fast again. :(
So it's really hard to gauge how tired I am based on sleep or fasting.
In a week I'll be closing in on the 170s!! Oh happy day!
Update: I had to have a spoonful of honey and another mixed in a cup of hot tea this afternoon. I felt just TOO weak. I ran to the post office to pick up some packages and I had to psych myself up for every minor exertion: getting off the couch, changing clothes (I actually changed while sitting on the toilet), walking down the stairs, getting into my low car (Tiburon coupe, the seat is like a foot off the ground), getting OUT of my low car, standing in line, carrying large packages, getting back INTO my car, driving (felt very light headed), getting me and the packages out of my car, then back UP the stairs. LOL. They're all incredibly minor activities but they really took a toll on me. I'm so happy I wasn't like this yesterday when I had to help my mom clean windows and strip beds and stuff! So I decided that I would have some honey to raise blood sugar and give me an extra boost of glucose to add to my energy :) It tasted wonderful, and my tea was lovely. I'm going to brew another cup without honey. I don't want to overdo it :)
Last night I had a couple of rumbles in my tummy, and I was once again imagining pan-frying up some delicious tofu!! How weird.
Insomnia has not gone away. It takes me ages to fall asleep, only to wake about 2 hours later, again fall asleep, wake 2 hours later, etc. It's rather exhausting. I was really hoping I would have my fantastic sleep from my last fast again. :(
So it's really hard to gauge how tired I am based on sleep or fasting.
In a week I'll be closing in on the 170s!! Oh happy day!
Update: I had to have a spoonful of honey and another mixed in a cup of hot tea this afternoon. I felt just TOO weak. I ran to the post office to pick up some packages and I had to psych myself up for every minor exertion: getting off the couch, changing clothes (I actually changed while sitting on the toilet), walking down the stairs, getting into my low car (Tiburon coupe, the seat is like a foot off the ground), getting OUT of my low car, standing in line, carrying large packages, getting back INTO my car, driving (felt very light headed), getting me and the packages out of my car, then back UP the stairs. LOL. They're all incredibly minor activities but they really took a toll on me. I'm so happy I wasn't like this yesterday when I had to help my mom clean windows and strip beds and stuff! So I decided that I would have some honey to raise blood sugar and give me an extra boost of glucose to add to my energy :) It tasted wonderful, and my tea was lovely. I'm going to brew another cup without honey. I don't want to overdo it :)
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