Day 12, and the End (Post Fast Day 1)

189.6 lbs this morning. Obviously my sloooooow metabolism has brought my loss to a crawl.

But why am I ending my fast? Last night my BF finally put two and two together and had a minor meltdown. He wanted to call my parents, his parents, he wanted to get my OJ that night, etc. He thinks I'm killing myself and now I get jokes that I don't have enough energy to do things.

I told him I wasn't doing this forever and tried to explain it to him. He backed off, but the weakling jokes are annoying (I play dead when he says that). I told him I wanted to fast, break, fast, break until I hit my goals.

Sooooo, seeing as how I've managed 11 days on water (a little cheat of juice or broth here or there) and lost 17.2 lbs and I'm craving foods like a madwoman, I've decided this fast is over. I shall break it, eat healthy (I'm horrified at the weight coming back), and fast again for a week or so.

Knowing in my mind last night that I was breaking my fast, I went a little insane. I actually couldn't sleep! I was dreaming of the juice I'd partake of today, the sushi I'd have in a few days. My digestive system actually started up again as I salivated and vividly imagined the taste of the spicy tuna I would be eating. It was the most torture I'd experienced. So I didn't actually get to sleep until around 3 am, and I'm finally up and groggy at 10 am. Just checking in before I head to Jamba Juice for from fresh OJ, then off to find a store that has Odwalla juicers. I have no juicer and I'm far too poor to get one.

I also intend to do a bit of calorie shifting/every other day fasting to continue to lose weight. It's funny, but I have to remind myself that fasting isn't the only way I can lose weight. It was a tool to get me going in the right direction and give me control to do well. I had to keep reminding myself of that last night. So I will moniter my weight very closely and make sure I keep it going in the right direction.

I'll also continue to post here daily, since fasting isn't only about the not eating part. It's about the post-fast, as well as the new relationship with food and continued success. I also want to keep myself accountable.

Sooooo, I'm off for some juice! I'm very excited!!