Day 6

195.4 lbs this morning. Hooray! I'll weigh again tonight, as the old adage of weighing in the morning has gone right out the window with fasting. As you've seen from my updates, I manage to lose more weight during the day, before I go to bed.

Better yet, the weak, pathetic baby kitten is gone! I still fatigue quickly, but my energy has returned to a degree. Not that I was super energy girl before, but I can actually do things without feeling the need to sit back and rest.

I still have stupid insomnia, which is preventing me from getting a full night's sleep. I should probably just force myself to nap during the day when I feel the need to sleep. Sleeping and reclined resting is very important (or so they say) during a water fast. I'm just one of those stubborn people who will be super tired, yet can't pull myself away from the computer or TV.

Do you realize how often we are bombarded with images of delicious food on TV all day long? I had no idea. I've been forced to close my eyes or flip the channel quickly when something fantastic and decadent pops on. I find that Googling fasting and other combos of it and reading different sites and testimonials about it to be a superb way to ease any cravings. It just really helps to rally you back into why you are doing this.

I'm wondering if the OJ yesterday and the sips of apple juice the other day have hurt me at all. Apparently according to some die-hard fasters that is enough to consider the fast broken. Oh well. I don't see it that way. I still haven't had any food. And the kids had chicken nuggets today for lunch. And cheese on english muffins and bananas for snack.......WANT.

I'm so proud of my resolve. I let the teacher know that I was on a diet so there will be no more attempts to offer me a plate, not that they ever pushed any food on me at all or anything. Just makes it easy to say no. And they have milk with lunch. Have I mentioned I love milk? Fresh and cold out of the carton. Yummers. Chocolate milk is the bomb.

I was doing some calculating today to see what it will take to get me where I want to be. Under the assumption that the losses have dropped down to 1 lb a day, and I've lost 11.4 lbs already, that means that if the loss continues at a steady 1 lb a day, I will reach around 177 by the end of this month. Last time I weighed that, I was on my way up from the Nutrisystem loss. Continuing at 1 lb a day (I hope I hope!) I will reach 150 lbs by my birthday. Not sure if I can get away with not eating on my birthday. I may have to break it then, which means I have to come off it slowly, probably a week ahead, so I can enjoy the naughty stuff without dying of stomach pains later that night. That would mean I did a 51 day fast. Whew, that sounds insane, doesn't it?? From where I sit right now, just looking at my losses and my general attitude on a day-to-day basis, it doesn't seem that bad. Maybe I'll be signing another tune as I go longer.

A quick 21 day fast or so should theoretically drop me down into the 120-130s if I'm lucky. God. I've never been in the 120s in my adult life. I managed to wind up in the 130s when I was 18 or so. That didn't last too long, and my body found a happy place around 145. I wonder if this would reset that whole "set point" idea, and my body would enjoy being in the 120s. At 5'5" and generally petite (I wear a 6 1/2 shoe), I think the 120s is not an unhealthy place for me to be. I can't imagine wanting to be any lower than that. See, I'm not someone suffering from eating disorders. I don't have body issues. I don't want to weight 89 lbs soaking wet. I just want to be in a healthy, attractive weight range.

God, the idea of being in the 150s for my birthday is so ridiculously exciting for me!! I've got all these clothes in my dresser that are way to small for me now or haven't even been worn because I started gaining right after I bought them. I've got a gorgeous 50's inspired dress that's a size 8 (possibly a 10, can't remember, it hasn't left the shipping bag), I've got a few pairs of size 10's and 8's pants, I've even got a lone, unworn size 6 jeans......that was when 8 was slightly too loose for me, and 6 was still too tight. I was about 147 lbs when I was a size 10, so being 150 should be able to see me in most of those clothes.

Unfortunately I haven't seen any outward changes yet. Skin is not clear, eyes look the same (though I haven't really paid attention to that), clothes don't fit differently, no one has noticed. I suppose 11 lbs off of 206 lbs is not yet enough to really be noticeable. It's a different story for someone who is 130 lbs.

I find myself to be really thirsty, tongue thirsty. The dry, foamy spit mouth. Yuck. Oh, and my breath still sucks ass. No poo either, have I mentioned I don't poo any more? It was a little disconcerting at first, but now I just accept it. I pooed liquidy brown/yellow goop the first 3-4 days or so. Now, nothing.