Quit or No?

I'm seriously considering cutting this to a 10 day fast. What didn't used to bother me is pure torture right now.

I was physically contorting myself to pick a pepperoni off my BF's pizza (I prevailed and didn't touch it). When it was cooking in the microwave I was breathing deeply like it was my last breathe on earth.

I'm really fighting the urge to eat. I'm scared if I let this urge get to strong it could turn into a binge, which is exactly what I don't want.

I really wanted to make it longer and continue to see the scale drop more, but I suppose that doing a 10 day on, 10 day off cycle would get me there. Lets see (calculating).....assuming I don't gain anything on my off days (unlikely I won't gain a few pounds to equalize, but this is best case scenario), I would be approx 159 by June 26th.

That's still pretty great, almost 50 lbs in a little more than 2 months. But I'd more likely be around 169 or so....still, fantastic. Hmmm, I think I'm being too hard on myself and expecting too much. All the other fasting blogs I've read people just vanish or quit after only a few days, so I'm ahead of the game. Is it the speed of weightloss that has put so much unnatural pressure on me? Any other "diet" I'd be flying high if I lost 45 lbs in 2 months. At an average and healthy number of 1-2 lbs a week, I'd be lucky (slow metabolism) to reach 195 lbs in 2 months! HAHAHAHA.

Ok, ok, I think I've settled it. The point of this for me is sustained loss. I don't want to burn out and go nuts and screw up everything I've worked for. So, there it is. Instead of being gung ho "keep going until I reach my goal!!", I'm changing this blog into an "intermittent fasting to reach my goal and maintain it" vibe.

I have to admit, that I've also been pretty worried about fasting for ages, reaching a goal weight, coming off, then gaining it all back quickly. At least if I haven't put that much time and effort into it only to gain it all back I won't be that screwed over. Regaining 15 lbs isn't as awful as regaining 60-70 lbs. LOL. This way will also allow me to gauge how my body will react to eating again in terms of weight gain.

So I guess I need a plan.

Tomorrow is the last day of my fast, that will go strict and according to plan.

Monday will be my 1st day post fast. It will consist of juices, not too acidic (darn, I love OJ), so apple juice stuff like that.

Tuesday I'll have a fruit cup and possibly some veggies.

Wednesday I'll transition to light foods. I'll probably quench my sushi craving that day. Only eat a couple pieces, as one of my goals is to keep my appetite and stomach small. I'll bring some home later for dinner.

Thursday I may go for something like a half a Subway 6" (so only 3"), and maybe I'll treat myself to some potato chips.

Friday I'd like to have myself some fish or my CPK chicken milanese. We'll see what I can pull off.

See there, that's not so bad. Nice and healthy (well, except the potato chips, but c'mon, even skinny people eat junk food! It's all about moderation). That should give me a good idea of how my body reacts to eating food again, and I hopefully won't gain too much back. From what I've read, I could possibly gain about 6 lbs back, which would upset me a great deal, as that's almost half of my loss! Once I know, I may re-asses this intermittent fasting thing and go back to the real deal. Or maybe I'll shorten the off-fast time to 3 days (juice day, fruit day, 1 food I've been craving day). A 6 lb gain on a 60 lb loss isn't a big deal. To be honest, I'm very scared. I'm also scared that restarting a fast may prove to be more difficult than maintaining it. I have to trust that I can do it.

Update: http://books.google.com/books?id=8SuNnLearBgC&pg=PA21&lpg=PA21&dq=metabolic+cycle+in+absence+of+food&source=bl&ots=uEXwPQc1dZ&sig=X6e-pjAZKnTM1c2r7JKK8OWam3U&hl=en&ei=McwPSufxOZXqtQOWntSNAw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=10#PPA22,M1

Pages 21 & 22 are fascinating and speak about the process of the body's metabolism using adipose (fat) to make energy. It also talks about the inherent protein loss. Coming from a medical journal, I think it's safe to say that it's to be respected. This is to naysayers who think your heart is going to fail and your muscles will wither and die. You'll lose a little muscle, but most of your energy will be derived from the fat in your body.