Day 4

198 lbs this afternoon! Just shy of 9 lbs down on my 4th day of fasting.

More good news, the weak kitten feeling is gone, and I'm only slightly fatigued, nothing near as overwhelming as the last two days.

Bad news, I was really craving food. I think I just had a lot of temptations today. Watching the preschoolers I volunteer with eat snack and lunch, walking the treacherous aisles of Costco, dodging delicious samples, smelling the hotdogs as you check out, driving past countless fast food joints while running errands. Grrr. Gum helped a lot. I also had a few sips of apple juice during the kids' snacktime. Doubt that was anything that was going to cause any problems.

I bought my boyfriend all sorts of "self help" foods to help keep me out of the kitchen as much as possible, though I know a home cooked meal is inevitable. I think I can handle it, though I'm a pretty damn good cook.

I can't break this stride now, and I'm doing so well. Just the idea of being 20+ lbs down by the end of this month is intoxicating. I'm also anticipating a marriage proposal and wedding before the year is up, so I am definitely determined to lose this weight.

My birthday is the end of June, and the thought of being 40+ lbs down for my birthday makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Hoping for a July wedding, and mere idea of being down to 150 lbs or lower by then sends me to the moon. Am I dreaming big? Will I be able to do this? Am I going to crash and burn, as I've done time and time again? Damn, I really hope not.